It really irritates me when we have [some] local and statewide organizations that… are not being responsible for the messaging that they provide to the people that they serve. Instead of telling people how to take care of themselves, [are] foment[ing] fear in the target population instead of talking about the reality of it. We have organizations that are issuing travel bans for LGBTQ people who want to come to the state. That’s harmful. [It’s more helpful to say], “I get that this sounds really bad, but here are your rights and here’s what they mean.”
As a Bar, we’re doing a pretty good job. We [provide resources] and say, here’s where you can go. NCLR does a great job. They put handbooks out, not just for attorneys, but for [all] people. The FLI (Family Law Institute) is here with you. If you need proactive help, here’s where it is. These are your rights, here’s how you do it, talk to an attorney. But a lot of people don’t know that.
The first three or four years I went to [Lavender Law as part of] the FLI, one conference would help me grow immensely. I got a few years worth of growth in my proficiency and my ability to serve LGBTQ clients in the first year. The second year, the same. The third year, even more. And then people respected my opinion and my knowledge.
I’m working full time as the first trans property lawyer at a major firm, and I help LGBT families in my spare time because I’m tired of these people. Just because you grew up in a different time does not give you license to be an idiot.
It was getting dangerous for me in my other neighborhood… I started to feel a sense of a lack of safety. The lady who lived next door had been there long enough that she knew about my transition, and she started telling new neighbors that I was trans.
I’ve been assaulted for being trans. I was on a vacation for my birthday [in a small town]… I got treated like [hell]… and then I got pushed and shoved. They called the sheriff on me, trying to get me arrested as I was leaving. And they made a big deal about me being trans because they assumed the police force wasn’t going to be well educated on those matters and would arrest me for being trans. [Fortunately], it didn’t work.
[There are] everyday citizens operating in an environment without knowing their rights, and they don’t know they have them. And they think people have the right to victimize them, which perpetuates that behavior… teach the target population how to defend themselves. Tell them how to empower themselves.. let them know they can do something about it.
We lawyers are responsible for being the sane people in the room. And if we’re running around getting… emotional about someone else’s stupidity, we’re in no position to protect the people we aim to serve and we have no business calling ourselves lawyers for the cause. It’s ok to say, give me a minute to process this and I’ll get back to you.
When you inform people and tell them how checks and balances work, they feel a lot safer… [People] fear things they don’t know about… They’re looking to us [to help explain it]. [People] are passing laws. High school civics class is not going to be enough to help you understand that. If you can show people how ridiculous it is, it’s obvious that [the ones behind those laws] are just trying to foment animus.
My dad was in the military, my mom was a civil servant. There were no auspicious beginnings. I’ve worked just as hard as anyone to get where I am. And I’ve served people who have suffered just as much as I have, and sometimes more so. I don’t want other people to go through that. And it’s my compassion that drives the bus.