One year ago, the National LGBTQ+ Bar Association launched the Caretakers of Trans Kids (CTK) group—a community created specifically for legal professionals who are parents or caretakers of transgender and nonbinary children. In a time when families of trans young people are navigating an extraordinary amount of uncertainty, public debate, and attacks on the rights and well-being of trans youth, the need for community has never been greater. Over the past year, CTK has provided a monthly space for parents and caretakers to come together, share experiences, access resources and education, and learn from one another about how best to support their children.
Most importantly, CTK has created a community where no parent has to feel that they are navigating this journey alone. Indeed, the group’s first year has been a powerful reminder that connection itself can be an important form of support. As one inaugural CTK member says,
“As the father of a nonbinary college student, I have found Caregivers of Transgender Kids (CTK) to be an invaluable resource both personally and professionally. The monthly videoconference meetings have provided a welcoming space for lawyers like me to share experiences, gain insight, and build community with fellow legal professionals who are also navigating the joys, fears, and complexities of parenting transgender and gender-diverse children. I have been continually impressed with the thoughtfulness and compassion of the group’s members, and I leave each session feeling more informed, more connected, and more supported, and I look forward to continuing my involvement in the year ahead.”
In addition, participants have had opportunities to deepen their understanding of trans identity and the legal and social issues affecting trans communities, translate fear and uncertainty into knowledge and action, and find meaningful ways to advocate for their children and for the broader trans community. As one participant shared,
“I have been in CTK since its inception. When I first heard about CTK, I was so excited to find a space for allyship, but also to talk with parents who understand the unique challenges that parents of trans/nonbinary kids face. Only other parents understand the quandary of not knowing whether you are supporting your child or outing them when you are faced with your hairdresser asking how your child is and you don’t know whether to update your child’s name and pronouns with this person. Having a safe space to talk about our fears and our triumphs as our children grow has been invaluable. In the course of working with the group, I have gotten help with personal matters like college advising and finding gender supportive medical care and big picture items like how to leverage our position as parents and lawyers to be advocates in the world.”
Our first year of the group’s existence has been a warm and welcoming place for every lawyer who is caring for a transgender child (of any age!) to join and find a space that brings comfort even as hard topics and fears are addressed. As CTK facilitator Melanie Rowen reflects,
“It’s been wonderful to see the group come together to support each other over the past year. There’s a comfortable dynamic established by the folks who have been attending regularly for a long time, and at the same time a welcoming spirit towards new members. The wisdom of the group is there no matter where the family is in their journey.
What’s been nice to see is that even in this very difficult time, while we hold space for the many challenges that are coming up for folks, we’ve also been able to celebrate with members as their trans and nonbinary kids reach life milestones and succeed in other ways big and small.
Interestingly, most of our discussions don’t revolve around legal issues. For this group, being with other members of the legal profession seems to make it easier to temporarily let go of the responsibility they often feel to stay on top of and be ready to discuss legal developments. They can just relax into an emotional support space, which can be hard for lawyers!”
As the Bar celebrates this first anniversary, we are enormously grateful to everyone who has helped make CTK what it is: our caring and brilliant participants (and their beautiful children who make this work possible), our gifted and caring facilitator, and the members and supporters of the LGBTQ+ Bar who believe in the importance of creating spaces where legal professionals can learn, connect, and support one another. We look forward to another year of building this community—and to continuing to ensure that parents and caretakers of trans and nonbinary young people have a place to find understanding, resources, courage, and hope.
Happy first anniversary, Caretakers of Trans Kids! 🏳️⚧️
Click here to learn more about the CTK group or apply to join.