My name is Cat Kozlowski. I use they/she pronouns. The way I like to phrase it is, “she” doesn’t bring me gender dysphoria, but “they” brings me gender euphoria.

 I joined Polsinelli in March 2020. I got to speak last year at Lavender Law, which was my first foray and introduction to the Bar. Most of my relationship with the LGBTQ+ Bar has been with Lavender Law and the amazing connections that I made during that time, that I have continued to cultivate. I’m excited to go to Chicago this year.

 My home base is Portland [Oregon], and Portland itself is just lovely. It is a bubble of safety. Living just south of [the city], I’m very lucky to be in a community that focuses on diversity, that is very welcoming. Part of the reason we moved up here in October 2020 during the pandemic is we were living in an environment where we didn’t feel we could safely raise our children.

 When it comes to what we need most, there are so many amazing organizations and these great national movements that are doing so much of the legal lift, and we see that. But the biggest thing we all need is that more intimate connection. It’s great to see these big powerhouses doing these big things and trying to move mountains and filing these lawsuits. I think so many of us just need a hug. And [to know] that there are people they have never met but that they may cross paths with that will see them, that will love them, that will stand up for them. 

 [During conference season], I buy… tons upon tons of rainbow pins. Whenever I go to a conference and someone comments on one of my pins… I give them one. My only request is, please wear this at whatever other conference you go to, so when I step into a room, I know you’re someone I can go to safely. [We need] our allies to be as visible as we are.

 We need our champions and our famous people and successful people out there showing themselves. But we also need to celebrate our flawed people, our middle manager people, [to show us] “I’m still worthy. I’m still worthy of love and acceptance and existence even if I don’t have a million followers on Instagram.” And I think the best way for our community to see that is for our allied community to be just as loud as we are in support of all of us.

 Put your money where your mouth is. Step forward… The thing I hear from allies is that “Oh, I’m afraid to misstep. I don’t want to offend anyone or hurt anyone”. I would rather you stick your neck out and get corrected and stand back up, than for me to have my whole body out there and to keep getting stomped down. Figure out your boundaries so you don’t cause me more harm. This tiptoeing that happens is really harming us because… you’re not saving anybody offense when you decide to sit out.

 Things are really tough right now. Things are ugly. This is not the hardest swing this community has dealt with, but it’s the hardest swing that this younger generation has seen. And it’s shocking. But there’s nothing so enraging to someone trying to craft your oppression as projecting your joy in the face of that. We’re going to fight back against that hate (you can feel more than one thing at once). But we are still so full of rainbows and glitter that we can, at the same time, fight against you and blare our joy at the top of our lungs, and there’s nothing that anyone can do to stop that. 

 Don’t let any of this diminish your sparkle. If you show your joy out loud – that joy you’re making is gonna save somebody’s life.